Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Phoenix cops might wear short shorts while they kick your ass this summer, may be slightly uncomfortable while they do it

Do you like to laugh?  Watch this, then.

Phoenix cops are pissed off at having to pay for new uniforms.  So angry, in fact, that they joined with the rest of the working class and demanded that all workers get money for work clothes.  Just kidding, they didn't do that.  That'd be pretty crazy, right, given that cops spend their day beating and kidnapping other workers.  Have you been following what they did to Occupy Phoenix and other poor and working class people?  Yeah, no one would believe that.  These cops are a bunch of spoiled brats.

Turns out the chief, in an attempt to restore some credibility to an institution that is completely discredited in the eyes of everyone except the local media that kisses its ass all day, has opted for some cosmetic changes to the force.  No, they're not going to stop the day to day obscenity that is policing in the Valley.  But they might start wearing shorts, though.  So there's that.  Cops in shorts are pretty funny looking, after all.

Anyhow, apparently despite their higher than average salaries compared to other workers and even other cops, Phoenix police are somehow upset at having to pay money for slightly less fascist-looking uniforms.  PPD cops are really fond of their paramilitary outfits.  Makes them feel tough.  The new belts inhibit their ass-kicking ability, they claim.  Oh, is that the sound of a cop smashing a sad-sounding violin over the head of a homeless person that we hear?  Yeah, we're not buying this complaint.

Time to man up, dudes.  No one takes you seriously when you sue over clothing but stay silent every time one of your own kills an urnamed man and his dog.  Thin blue line much?  Time for the thin blue polyester shorts.  And, yeah, we'll be laughing at you.

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